As I’ve said before, I loathe telephones. Today, I got a call from the endocrinologist who has been ignoring my “URGENT” referral since 11-July. Of course, they called on my backup number that I have specifically asked that they not use. They didn’t call on the number that actually rings. I called back within five minutes, but of course the callback number they gave doesn’t go to their office, but rather to their Referral Disruptor. Here are the contemporaneous notes I took while I was on the call:
20240801@15:21 call to [redacted] returning call from Dr. [redacted]‘s office to [redacted backup] number. Annoying voicemail, starting with “please listed to the entire menu because our options have changed. Now on second loop through menus for some reason. I’m 1:33 in and haven’t even gotten through menus yet. Now on hold with ads. “schedule online without waiting at dignityhealth.org/ourdoctors” — I try, but the website says “to schedule appointments, call [redacted] (the number I called). Now advertising “express care.” Anna! a real person! at 15:26. Now back on hold (Cisco music). Back at 15:27 asking for DOB. Hold again, “Hello, thank you for calling [redacted] Group downtown” and now I’m back to the main menu again. Much ado, same trip through multiple levels of menu, now connecting me to endocrinology (they say) at 15:33. Unintelligible name takes my information again and say “there are two charts with that information, which one is yours?” “How would I know? I’m guessing if it’s my name, date of birth, and address that they’re both me” “How can I help you if you won’t tell me which chart is yours?” Asks why I’m calling. “I’m returning your call regarding an endocrinology referral”. “Let me transfer you to endocrinology. “I’ve been on hold now for 15 minutes, are you just going to send me back to the main menu?” “No, this is Primary Care. You should call [redacted].” “That is the number I called.” “No, this is Primary Care.” “Yes, I was talking to Endocrinology and got transferred here after they put me on hold.” Assures me that he will transfer me directly and I won’t have to start over. Now I’m back to the main menu for the FOURTH time. Still going through menus and now on hold at 15:35. More ads. [redacted] anwsers at 15:37. Go through name/number/address verification for the THIRD TIME. “The first available appointment is Friday September 13th.” Explain the urgency. She says she’ll call the office. Hold again. 15:44 “I’m not able to get ahold of anyone at the office.” Says she’ll send them an urgent message and explain the situation and they’ll call me back at [correct number, redacted]. I explain that I have surgery scheduled in one week and they’ve blown off an urgent referral now for three weeks, promised to call back before and waited a week and then called the wrong number. “It’s all I can do” she said.
They didn’t call back.
—2p