Some time in the late 1970’s early 1980’s, I walked into Clark Dye Hardware [dickover warning] and bought a staple gun. I had used several staple guns, and realized that it’s not a tool on which I wanted to cheap-out. So I spent what was, undoubtedly, a princely sum and got a rather nice one.

I had also noticed that, when trying to buy replacement staples for other guns I’d used, they often weren’t available. I don’t know if Big Staple was constantly deprecating staple specs to sell more guns, or I was just unlucky, but it didn’t want it to happen to my fancy new device. I bought a lot of staples for it. Six thousand, if I’m remembering correctly.

I still have the gun. I still have a few of the staples. Alas, three years or so ago it jammed in a way I haven’t been able to fix. I haven’t thrown it away because in three years I have gone through five staple guns. So after having one for nearly half a century, now I can’t find one that will even last a year. Some day, I’ll attack the jam in the old gun again and see if I can restore it. And find staples for it.

Yes, I sound like an old man railing that “they just don’t make things like they useta.” Apparently, though, it is quite well documented that things are getting worse on purpose.

—2p

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