the brakes
The day started with me taking Timmy the Titan down the mountain to have his brakes checked. Brakes are always vitally important. Living on the side of a one of the world’s tallest mountains make them doubly so.
HA really wanted to take Joulee the Free Salvage Tesla into town for a class (35 minutes away) so I thought I’d try again to ride my ebike up the mountain. It’s only about 3 miles, but with a 1,400 foot elevation change. Last time I tried it, the bike overheated and shut down. This time (1) I’ve adjusted the bike’s geometry so that I’m much more efficient pedaling, (2) the weather is quite a bit cooler, (3) the bike motor is more broken-in so possibly less prone to overheating, and (4) I’ve adjusted the tire inflation quite a bit higher.
So I dropped off Timmy and headed up the mountain, passing HA along the way. I minimized the electric assist and pedaled hard. Still, maybe halfway home or a little more, the assist cut out due to overheating. I pedaled where I could and walked the bike (pushed the bike uphill, more like) otherwise. A few minutes later it started working, but quickly overheated again. I repeated that little cycle until I got home. It took 37 minutes, for an overall speed of almost 5 mph. Still better than walking.
the tires
When I got home, though, I had phone messages. I don’t know why my phone doesn’t ring, but ringing for calls has been intermittent for at least two decades. During that time I have used iPhones, Google Android phones, Pixel phones running GrapheneOS, AT&T, Google Fi, Consumer Cellular, my own PBX — and no combination of carrier, platform, or hardware has worked reliably. Part of the problem is the degree to which I hate phones so I don’t get many calls (five or six per month?), and don’t care if I miss most of the ones I do. I haven’t put too much effort into fixing the problem, but it is sometimes annoying.
So the messages were HA telling me that she heard a bang, pulled over, and the car’s display told her she had a flat tire. I told her to call AAA and have the car towed to a shop we know in town and get new tires. We weren’t, strictly speaking, ready for new tires but we were close. One was now flat, another had a cut in the sidewall from when I was teaching one of my children to drive. We were kind of shocked at the island pricing, but at least they were available in town so HA would be back on the road the same day.
Yeah, right.
When she tried to leave the auto repair shop, the car made a horrible scraping, clicking sound. The repair folks were horrified. They put the car on the lift, but couldn’t find the problem (but then, Teslas are unusual animals even now and the shop is more of a V-8 kind of place). Their recommendation was to contact Tesla. HA tried to contact me, but I wasn’t getting the calls. Or texts. She sent an email, but I was out working in the garage.
the garage lights
I was stuck at home waiting to hear from the shop working on Timmy or to hear from HA. I felt frustrated knowing HA was stranded and I had no way to get to her. To distract myself, I decided to install some better lighting in the garage — a project that had been on the back burner for months. That went smoothly: see above.
the phones
I finally decided that I needed to call the shop working on Timmy. I did, but got a recording saying that they close at 4pm. It was 3pm then. It was then I saw HA’s email and received her texts and notifications of missed calls. Note that I was within WiFi range the whole afternoon and within cellular range for much of it; signal quality wasn’t the problem.
I called HA but the calls were almost useless. I could hear about every fourth word. By the time we hashed out what had happened, I realized it was 3:38 and I only had a few minutes to rescue Timmy, if he was even drivable. I called the shop again, got a recording again, and left a message saying that I’d be there by 4 and to please not leave early. HA could have taken the bus from town, but that would only get her to the bottom of the mountain. I got on my bike and undertook a thrill-park level high-speed ride down the mountain (talk about wanting good brakes!), arriving at the shop at 3:57. The shop appeared closed, but at my shouted “Aloha!” a door opened and the owner greeted me. “We’ve been waiting for you!”
What a relief. They said they tried to call HA three times and just got a screeching tone (I suspect they might have the wrong number). They tried calling me and there was no answer and never the option to leave a voicemail. I have no idea how this new phone bug crept into the system.
We had already started the process of porting HA’s phone to my carrier, which has much better reception. Was that the reason calls weren’t getting through? We’ll never know.
bailing out Timmy
I got out my credit card and they shook their heads sadly. “Cash only.” Ugh. I had $150 cash and the bill was almost $3,000. The previous brake work (by the Nissan dealer!) was done incorrectly and had destroyed the calipers, pads, and rotors on all four wheels. But I had no way to get to the bank, no way to get to HA, and barely any way to get home (riding back up the mountain was certainly possible, but not something I was looking forward to).
Fortunately, they took pity on me (I think one of my neighbors who is a long-time customer of theirs vouched for me). I gave them the $150 and promised to return Friday morning (they’re closed today) with the cash. They let me have the car. I then texted HA and headed to town. I got to town but she wasn’t at the assigned meeting place. I then raced across the street to try to catch the bank before they closed, but they had closed at 4pm. I found HA, we compared notes on missed calls and messages.
miracle recovery
The next morning I went through the Tesla app (the only official way to get service) and they completely ignored my questions about being on the Big Island and just offered to schedule a time for me to “drop off” the car in Honolulu. I know Elon Musk once said that Teslas float and can be driven on the water, but I think the 230 miles of ocean between me and the service center might not be what he had in mind.
At any rate, we had Timmy whose brakes are now much quieter. After not hearing from Tesla for a couple of hours, we headed toward town. We stopped at the Post Office and picked up the SIM card that would let us complete the transition of HA’s phone. I contacted AAA, who told us that our “Plus” plan would cover towing Joulee back home. The shop where Joulee lay was delighted that we were getting her out of their cramped parking lot. They were so very helpful and friendly, and refused to charge us for the work they did trying to diagnose the mystery noise.
The tow truck was delayed. I had put the car into “tow mode” but I got to wondering about this mystery sound. So I put it back in gear and drove around the lot. No sound. The staff assured me it wasn’t subtle the day before. I decided to try driving home. When I got a mile or two down the road with no incident, I pulled over, canceled the tow truck, and texted HA.
I made it home, though there is definitely still something wrong. I got the awful sound a few times, but it was transitory. I have theories, and maybe I can get our very local body shop to put her on the lift so I can have a look around.
The rest of the phone transition went perfectly smoothly. So far, Consumer Cellular still connects you to an interested and well-trained human agent when you call.
So…
- ✓ new brakes on Timmy the Titan
- ✓ more data on viability (or lack thereof) for the ebike
- ✓ new tires on Joulee the Free Salvage Tesla
- ✓ HA switched to a more viable phone plan
- ✓ cash in hand to cover Timmy’s repairs
- ✓ HA, Timmy, Joulee, and Luna the Big Dog™ all home and safe and happy
All in all, a successful conclusion to a stressful event (pending my delivering the cash to the local shop tomorrow morning).
—2p